You plan but never start

Have you ever started a workout plan where you outline precisely what you’ll do that week, how you’ll do it, what you’ll eat, and what clothes you’ll wear? Then Monday arrives, and you decide, “You know what? I think I’ll start next Monday instead.” I’m sure we’ve all been there.

You find yourself in the same situation repeatedly, and at some point, you have to take that leap and actually start on that Monday. If you keep planning without taking action, you’ll find yourself stuck in what I call a “plan to stop progress.”

Consider what might be holding you back from success. It could be your mindset about failure and how you perceive it. If you’re not serious enough about your goals, it can hinder your ability to achieve them. Ultimately, we want to break through that wall and improve our relationship with failure.

You play small so that you won’t mess up.

Imagine you’re playing basketball and have the chance to make a three-point shot, but instead, you settle for a layup or an in-the-paint shot. It’s not that you’re better at those shots; rather, you’re afraid of the embarrassment of missing a three-pointer. You choose the easier option out of fear, which is, in my opinion, a form of laziness. Your fear of failure may prevent you from reaching your full potential, and sometimes we become too comfortable and avoid trying new things.

When you look back on your life, you won’t think, “I’m really glad I played it small.” Many people wish they had invested in Apple when it first launched, but were too afraid to take the risk. Now, they regret missing out on millions of dollars. When you play it safe, you limit your chances for growth and success. You cannot expect big opportunities to thrive in a small space; it just won’t happen.

You sabotage yourself

I just wrote a paper about how self-sabotage can hinder your success in all aspects of life. While writing that blog post, I realized that often we don’t even recognize when we are sabotaging ourselves. This form of failure stems from within because there are many external factors beyond our control. However, self-sabotage means you are actively preventing your own success, and you should feel embarrassed about being your own worst enemy.

To move forward, it’s important to take a step back. Nobody needs to play the antagonist in their own life. If the shoes fit, then wear them; but if you want to change, you first need to acknowledge a few things:

1. I do not want to prevent myself from being successful.

2. I want to focus on growth and explore new dimensions of my life.

3. I aim to fully embrace life, whatever that means to me.

Life offers a wealth of experiences, and from my perspective, we only get to live it once.

You compare yourself to others.

I was recently on the phone with a friend who was talking about her significant other and celebrity crushes. She mentioned that her crush is someone who doesn’t look or act like her, and she felt she could never be like that person. I’ve never understood that mindset—feeling insecure about someone else’s success—because I believe in being my own person. No one can compete with me; they haven’t walked the same path I have.

I truly feel that comparison is the death of all dreams. When you compare yourself to others, you’re looking for a blueprint to replicate their success, rather than embracing your own uniqueness. Authenticity is essential. You are the blueprint; you pave your own way. You are likely who someone else aspires to be. Stop comparing yourself to someone in a different genre; you’re made differently.

You’ll never see me compare myself to Cardi B, Beyoncé, or Megan Thee Stallion. Why? Because they are a different type of woman, and while I admire them, I would never compare myself to them. For one, I barely reach four feet eleven inches. Secondly, our upbringings and the opportunities we’ve been given are vastly different. We are two separate individuals. I can take inspiration from their work, but trying to compare myself to their lifestyle or way of living is laughable, it’s ludicrous.

You quit before you can lose.

This concept goes back to the idea that you can’t truly fill a void if you never attempt to do so. Whenever you face a challenge and do nothing, you’re already accepting a form of failure by choosing not to act. It’s like when a teacher hands you a test; if you decide not to take it, you might think that you’ve avoided failure, but in reality, you have failed by not even trying. The teacher isn’t going to give you a pass just because you didn’t attempt the test.

Once you understand the benefits of learning to deal with failure and how to adapt based on those experiences, you will grow immensely. Failure provides opportunities to reflect, adjust, and improve for the future. No one is perfect, but striving for perfection often starts with acknowledging that failure can be the first step toward growth.

So, would you rather label yourself a loser in a situation, or would you prefer to say that you failed but got back up and tried again? Losing suggests that you don’t get another chance, and that’s not what we want. We want to be actively engaged in our lives, influencing the circumstances we face. Allowing life to unfold without your involvement is not the way to go.

Stagnation, or being okay with not moving forward, actually holds you back. Although you might believe the world will stop for you, it won’t; the people around you will continue moving forward, whether in the same direction or away from you. We want to see growth, and taking action is the most effective way to ensure that failures don’t dictate your path.

Conclusion

One key takeaway from this conversation is that failure shouldn’t prevent you from achieving success. Instead, failure should be seen as a tool in your toolbox—it can help you recognize patterns and navigate your environment, including your relationships with friends and family. Personally, I believe I have been successful because I started taking risks and making bold moves. I realized that it was important to stumble a few times so I could learn what steps were necessary to succeed. This experience allows me to offer advice to others who might find themselves in similar situations. Remember, failure is a tool, not a barrier.