1. No more social media

The sooner you let go of that social media energy, the better off you’ll be at detaching yourself from the grip of its nasty, musty hands and everything that comes with it. Social media isn’t real, especially with everything going on right now with Google, AI, and how everybody is chasing clout through entertainment and so-called resources. Some of it could be real, but a lot of it is not. You never really know.

Here’s the thing: do not be fooled by curated, watered-down content. You know real life. You cannot put a filter on poop, and that’s exactly what a lot of these creators, YouTubers, Instagram influencers, and even political figures are doing. Sometimes, without realizing it, we end up being harder on ourselves. Take it from me. I’m my biggest cheerleader and also my toughest critic. Social media has made me feel unaccomplished in my life, especially when I think about where I should be by now.

My ego used to be so high that I’d see someone doing something and think, if they can do it, I can do it ten times better. But it’s just me over here. I don’t have a team behind me like a lot of these creators do. That doesn’t mean they haven’t worked hard or earned their spot, but it does mean I’ve had to work ten times harder just to stay in the game.

And that pressure? It built up into this false narrative in my head that made me question my place in the world.

The last thing we want is to slide down the slippery slope of forgetting that some things just aren’t meant for us, and that’s okay. You might not reach that girl’s level or match how good someone else makes it look. But guess what? Somebody might be looking at you and thinking the same thing. Thinking they want to be like you. Thinking you’ve got it all together.

I’ve had people reach out to me saying it looks like I live such a well-kept, peaceful life. But they haven’t seen my closet. They haven’t seen my cluttered fridge. They don’t know what I hide behind closed doors, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Online, I might look polished, but in real life, I’m cracked, smacked, and a little lacking in areas we’re not even gonna speak on.

2. Understand you are in charge (stop blaming)

One of the biggest things that can hold you back from growing is refusing to take accountability for your actions. A lot of people stay in victim mode because the people around them ignore the bad choices they make or keep making excuses for them. If you want to be successful, you have to take that first step. Own your stuff. Know where you lack. Know what needs to change and understand that you have the power to change it right now.

Nobody else is driving the bus but you. And once you recognize that, the progress you make will blow your mind compared to when you thought someone else was in control of how your life was supposed to go. Weak individuals sit on the sidelines waiting for someone else to tell them when life starts and when it ends. But the moment you see the truth is the moment you take control and shift your path into a space that’s focused and positive.

Ask yourself: where do I see myself? Where am I going? How long do I think it’ll take? What are my circumstances? These are the kinds of questions that get you moving in the right direction. These questions help you build the roadmap that you can read because you are the one behind the wheel at the end of the day.

3. Change your environment

Remember when we were kids and we’d redecorate our rooms or hang something new on the wall? That little change made it feel like a brand new space. And it was so exciting to show our parents what we did. So why stop doing that just because we’re adults?

Change your environment, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or all of the above. Switch up your space. Change who you talk to. Change who you look up to. Most of the time, the negative energy we’re carrying is coming straight from the things we willingly allow into our lives.

I want you to picture your space, your life, as an open circle. You only get about ten to fifteen things inside that circle. I want you to draw it out. Then list those ten to fifteen people, habits, routines, or items that you allow in your space.

Now, take a good look at that list and ask yourself: which ones are not bringing any positivity? Which ones are doing more harm than good?

For me, it was certain family members. I love them, truly. But I had to take a step back and realize they weren’t feeding anything positive into my life. They weren’t helping me grow.

For you, it might be food. If you’re working on healthier eating, maybe it’s time to pay attention to what you’re bringing into your kitchen. Or maybe your goal is to be more organized. In that case, the clutter around you needs to be addressed.

If the things you say you want are not being reflected in your environment, you’re setting yourself up to fail before you’ve even started.

4. Work out

Nothing clears out negative feelings like moving your body. Sometimes you just need to go for a run, lift something heavy, or feel that burn in your muscles as they’re being pushed to the limit.

And if you’re not someone who usually works out, make it a game. Set a rule for yourself: every time a negative thought creeps in, you owe your body 10 push-ups, 10 squats, or a 10-second plank. Turn those thoughts into fuel.

Working out doesn’t just help your body release that built-up energy. It creates healthy habits. Brings balance. It reminds you that growth and development start from within.

5. Write or speak out your feelings

Ever since I was nine years old, I’ve kept a journal. I would write out all my feelings, and honestly, I think that’s why I’m so in tune with myself now. It’s helped me understand how I feel, reflect on my experiences, and process the things that shaped who I am today.

Writing or speaking out your feelings gives your brain the space to rewire itself. Sometimes the stuff we keep bottled up indoors really needs to come out.

Think of it like planting a flower. You wouldn’t plant something, then shove the pot in a cupboard and close the door. That flower’s not going to grow in the dark. Most people take flowers and put them outside, where the light can hit them, and that’s when growth happens.

Your thoughts are the same. They need to exit your brain to truly take shape and turn into something real. Whether it’s writing in a journal, talking to a friend, or just saying it out loud to yourself, let it out.

6. Listen to positivity

Are there people you listen to that you know will speak life into you? People who bring truth, hope, or even just a good laugh? You need more of that. I had to stop listening to the news because all it did was pour negativity into my spirit. It made me feel like the world was ending, like nothing I did mattered. And as a realist, that became a very dark place for me to look for peace because all I found was more stress.

Now, I’m not saying don’t stay informed or ignore what’s happening around you, your family, or your community. I’m saying don’t invite negativity in like it’s a welcome guest. Guard your space.

And if you have to hear it, let’s say you’re stuck at a family dinner and Uncle Mike decides it’s time to yell politics across the mashed potatoes, make sure that when it’s over, you balance it out. Put on your favorite Beyoncé album. Blast Taylor Swift. Play something that lifts you and gasses you up.

Constantly listening to negativity can rot your brain. Especially when it’s coming from people who don’t have a whole lot going on up there to begin with.

7. Know your worth and your path

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? I’ll tell you what I see. I see someone who has worked damn hard to get where they are. Someone is grinding every day to make sure they’re successful in everything they touch. But negativity? It can mess with that mindset. One day, you feel on top of the world, like you can crush anything. Then negativity swoops in and throws all that out the window, and it feels like there’s nothing you can do when it grabs hold.

For me, negativity sticks like stink on poo—it’s hard to shake off. Positivity, on the other hand, is slippery like soap; it’s harder to hold onto. So when you’re staring at your reflection, remind yourself with affirmations, one thing to keep you grounded in who you are. This funk you’re feeling right now? It’s not forever.

Don’t let negative thoughts or people make you believe this is all you’ll ever be or feel.

Know who you are- where you came and where you’re going. Because here’s the truth—most people hate it when you show you’re resourceful and clear about your direction. Take it from someone who’s worked her ass off to prove everyone wrong—those who said I wouldn’t get anywhere, wouldn’t be anybody.

Put on your big backpack, juice up your jetpack, and bounce the heck out of there because you know who you are. Thank people for their feedback, but don’t use it to hold yourself back. Negative people? They will never stand up and clap for your success. Think about it—why would they? Positive people and successful people don’t waste time hating. And those negative ones? They’re never going to fully enjoy their success. So why would they enjoy yours? They’re just out there waiting to bring you down and humble you.

Don’t let them.

8. Practice gratitude

What does gratitude mean to you? What are you grateful for right now? Look to the left of you, what do you see? Think about how hard you had to work to get to the point where you have that thing. Now look to the right of you. What’s there that you should appreciate?

Make this a daily habit. Be grateful that you woke up today, that you have time and space to live your life. I know it might sound like a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, but trust me, this is so important. Gratitude is like super glue. It holds together that thin line between feeling like a spoiled little brat and being genuinely grateful.

9. Open your doors and let the good Lord’s air in

When’s the last time you stepped outside and touched some grass? I said this before, but the most out-of-touch people are the ones who don’t get enough of Mother Nature, her smells, her tastes, her healing. Some folks have never even seen the stars at night because they live in the city, and the closest thing they’ve got to grass is turf.

If you’re in Arizona, I know y’all have some turf grass, but if you’re lucky enough to live where there’s real nature, actual grass, sunshine, birds singing in the evening, I dare you to spend at least 30 minutes a day outside. Touch the grass, feel the dirt, soak in the sun. Just be outdoors, especially with the new season coming.

This might be the best you’ve felt all year. We’re just coming off the holiday season slump, which can be pretty depressing. Now, the days are getting longer, nights shorter, and you need to take advantage of that. The sun is your friend. The trees are your cousins. The Earth is your mother. It’s time for a family reunion with all of them.

I’m not saying you have to go hiking or anything extreme. Just choose your time wisely here on Earth and focus on what really matters.

10. Surround yourself with happy and healthy people

Lately, I’ve been taking a step back from people I used to let into my space, even if they disrespected me, threatened me, or made me uncomfortable. Before, I just let it slide. But now that I’ve set those boundaries, I can honestly say it’s helped me shed negative energy and get one step closer to the positivity I’m chasing in my life.

Especially with those who stay stagnant, people who keep making bad choices over and over. I know someone right now who just came out of a 30-year streak of bad choices, but no matter what you say, they won’t change. Some people enjoy being victims in their own complicated stories. They cling to that sad, narcissistic victim role. And if you don’t join their pity party, suddenly you’re the problem. You’re the antagonist trying to stop them from wallowing.

When I say cut them off, I mean cut them off. If they want to be in your life, they’ll change. They’ll see that their actions aren’t positive. And there’s nothing wrong with not having your lives aligned. Life is hard, we’re all figuring it out, and honestly, we all end up in the same spot at the end.

But here’s the thing: it’s up to you. Do you want a positive experience or a negative one? Look at those people and ask yourself, do they want positivity, or are they stuck in that sad victim story? If you can’t connect with their energy, then you have to cut clean and dry.

Pull the plug. No regrets.